14th July, 2008
In Roseville There is Always A Carnival
For the past year there have been cars that occasionally park on our side of the street between the hours of 2 am and 6pm. That’s the only time they are allowed to park there because of a city ordinance that is past outdated. Some of the neighbors have tried to get it removed – we all signed the petition, well some of us anyway.
When there aren’t cars parked on this side of the street, they’re stopped, on the wrong side of the road, some just slow down to a crawl, but most pull over facing the wrong way in traffic to stare at the only Carnival in Roseville that is on display 24/7/365.
I’ve refrained from writing about this before out of pity for the people who own it. But this spring, I was informed that the Police had told them to clean it up or clear it out. Okay, they may have planted some shade grass to grow in the barren spots of dirt around the house, and cleared out a few years worth of dead foliage, but damned if they didn’t add to it.
What once was a flower border that separated our properties is now a line of old rocking horses tied together with wire, not only does she have rocking horses in this make believe fence of theirs, but she has more bowling balls on stands then the local bowling alley. Okay, I exaggerated on that one, but when my brother came up from Nebraska last year, informed me on one of his trips that they have 14 gazing balls out there – I had to disagree with him. He was stunned beyond belief when I told him they were bowling balls on pedestals. They mix in real well with all the damn pink flamingos and plastic flowers she has shoved in pots and in the ground. These are all nicely wired and chained to the ground, lest some teenager decides to make havoc with her rocking horse cemetery.
This spring while I had the Shoppe Boutique, I had the pleasant & amusing opportunity to meet three young ladies who had only happened to the boutique because they had slowed down to see the carnival next door. I guess I should be thankful for that.
The girls were quite amusing in their speculations as to why anyone would do that to their front yard. The people that own it think that all the people that stop to stare at it are their fans…I guess they don’t talk to their “fans” much because everyone one I have ever had come to my house, people I know, and people I don’t know, are all appalled at the “carnival” next door. One gal informed me that the only reason horses all cluster together like that is out of fear – she wondered what they were afraid of. I can only think that it has to be rust.
They have two or three trees in their yard, and around every tree is a make believe carousal, with old horses dismantled long ago from its rocking frame, following closely behind by another retired rocking horse. On each of those rocking horses sits some old doll, dressed up in little kid’s clothes. They may look good from the street people, but up close they are quite frightening – the hair is gone or thinning from some of the dolls heads, blank stares out of glass eyes that you know have seen way too much, missing eyes & limbs…it’s like they stepped right out of some ghastly horror flick.
This year they took new plastic strips in red and white and tied them around some unseen wire to form the tops of the carousal, bringing even more attention to the atrocity that I live next to.
But of course if the front of the house isn’t enough to make you stop and scratch your head – come by my place sometime and take a gander at what I have to see every day from my backyard. If I mentioned that the front is some form of pet cemetery for retired, dismantled rocking horses, their backyard is what they dug up after it had been buried too long out front, it’s like a freakish outside laboratory for dead, dismantled & dismembered carnival parts.
Poor Woody off from Toy Story has to live his life out surrounded by a million other Woody’s along the other side of their house. Some sit on old miniature horses, other just lie in the dirt, or on old toy chairs that are slowly deteriorating into the ground becoming its own morbid form of a toy cemetery.
The whole thing is rather spooky, really. While the outside of their house looks like this, I sure would hate to see what the inside looks like. I don’t even want to imagine it, it makes me shudder. And to think, all this from the same people who had the gall to ask someone who helped move us in this house how many people were moving in here because “We” sure had enough stuff. Now that’s calling the kettle black.
So, if you are ever in Roseville…don’t miss out on your chance to see the Cemetery, er, I mean uh, Carousal Carnival on Dionne Street. Its on display 24/7/365.
Posted at 11:24 pm | Comment (0)
9th July, 2008
Geert Wilders’ film about the Quran
Stop Islamisation
If you are NOT Muslim you need to see this. It is a film by a Netherland film maker. He is currently in hiding.
If you think that Muslims are here to live a good life here you are sadly mistaken. Watch this film. There are scenes that I needed to turn away from. But if you can watch the entire film. It will raise your awareness of what the Muslim people are up to. If you think you can trust them, again, you are sadly mistaken.
Posted at 6:43 pm | Comments (3)
15th May, 2008
It’s a Beautiful Day
The sun is shinning, the air is warm, with that spring breeze gently blowing, and the sky is a beautiful shade of blue with patches of white fluffy clouds here and there. My music is the birds and the roar of lawn mowers…I could do without the lawn mowers but even those are pleasing; it means warm weather and sunshine.
I miss the symphony of the backyard at the in-laws house - the spring was inspiring with all the nature that seemed to surround it. I enjoyed the occasional fox that wandered past on the hunt for something edible, the deer that would jump the fence to wander in the backyard to eat the bird seed out of the feeders, the flocks of turkey’s that would ungracefully fly over the fence and scatter throughout the yard for some morsel of something that they couldn’t find on the other side of the fence. It always amazed me that we were so close to the cities, yet there was all this wildlife right in our backyard.
I wonder sometimes if the Indigo Buntings that used to make the woods behind their home in the summer wonder where their specially purchased wild bird seed went…there is no bird seed there any longer. I enjoyed watching the nuthatches fly down for a black sunflower seed and fly back up to the tree - standing upside down, pop, pop, popping the seed against the bark on the tree to crack the shell open to reveal the seed inside. Why they thought standing upside down cracked that seed any easier is beyond me - but it sure was interesting to watch.
We had owls there too - at night, late at night I would stand on the deck and listen as a deep call sounded off to my left, and then moments later a higher pitched call in answer on my right deeper in the woods. They would call and answer to each other for hours…makes you wonder why they didn’t just fly to each other then they wouldn’t have to holler so loud. Maybe one was an old male and the other a young male and they were each declaring their space in the woods. Naw, I much rather enjoy thinking that they were mates, calling out their desires to each other.
Its been 3 years since the last time I went camping. I’d like to do that this year, but I’m not really sure that will be a possibility because of the other committments I have. Its definately going to be a busy summer.
I managed to plant a small garden in the back yard. We have a tomato plant, a row of cucumbers, a row of carrots, a row of peas and a row of radishes. I said it was small. I also planted some beautiful flowers. In front I have some bleeding hearts, a miniture rose bush given to me by my family during my second surgery and stay at the hospital this spring, some sort of flower moss ( as well as the rose moss in the hanging basket, pampered under lights in the basement all winter), and in back I have several pots of english daisies, orange daisies, and a variety of others, as well as all my house plants that are huddled on the deck in the shade, gradually being exposed to the outdoors.
Aside from the chore of taking care of the flowers and garden, I also have a trip home planned sometime next month. I’m looking forward to that. I’m planning to stay a night with each of my brothers, but I am also spending a few days with a very good friend that I haven’t seen in over 11 years. I’m a bit worried about what she will think of me - I have changed so much, and I am told she hasn’t really changed, on top of which she is single now and very much into the party, beer drinking stage…she is where I was at when I left home all those years ago, plus my circumstances have really changed me. Oh well - we were best of friends then, I think we will still be best of friends now…
Then when I return from that trip, I have a trip to Wyoming to make after the birth of my third granddaughter. I hope to stay there a couple of weeks to help out my grandbabies Mommy. I remember how much I could have used the help after my second child was born.
When I finally return from that trip I have to start preparring for the craft fair that The Knot & Bauble Shoppe will be participating in at the Slice of Shoreview festivities. I need to make sure I have enough inventory and I need to make sure everyone’s products are inventoried and cataloged, and that we have everything we need to make the sale a success.
During all that I still have the flowers, the garden, the grandbaby, the house work….but its good to stay busy.
Yet for now, think I will just lie back and gaze up into the sky, letting the warmth of the sunshine warm my heart, soul and face…and bask in the blessing of this beautiful day.
Posted at 1:52 pm | Comment (0)
8th May, 2008
Good Day, Sunshine
The sunshine brings out the gardener in me. I want to get out there and dig my hands in some fine dark dirt, plant a few seeds and watch the fruits of my labor grow, trying to cultivate some beauty in a world of dark times and despair.
I hate watching the news any more - it’s all bad news anyway. If it isn’t someone robbing someone, it’s someone killing someone, horrific car accidents or the news about the upcoming election and who is going to be first and who is going to be second. Our choices for President this election deepen the fear of future. Nothing is as it used to be, nothing either Obama or Clinton promise makes me feel very secure at all.
I worry about my future, I worry about my children’s future, I worry about my grandchildren future, and their children’s future. The economy is hurting horribly, this is so evident in the sales on the Knot & Bauble Shoppe, I can only imagine what other stores are experiencing. If that isn’t bad enough, not only do we suffer the horrible rising costs of food and fuel, we now need to seriously consider a day when there will no longer be any oil or fuel, I don’t even want to think of the crimes and wars there will be when that happens.
I guess I will be like an Ostrich, and bury my head in the dirt. Its almost the only way to ignore all of this. Yet, I don’t ignore it; I do my best to conserve every chance I get. I turn off unneeded lights, use candles for light when I can, walk as often as I can to where I need to go, and try not to use the gas to heat my home any more than necessary. My small and feeble attempts don’t make much of a dent, but compiled with a lot of other small attempts to conserve, it’s got to count for something.
In order to displace myself from it all I bury myself in my immediate family, friends, and hobbies…especially hobbies and family…more importantly the Grand babies…I wish for the millionth time that Melissa, Brad & Kailie were here so I could enjoy Kailie and our new grand baby that will be here in just 9 to 10 short weeks growing up as I am Lexi.
My latest fear is the possibility of Kirk and Steph buying a home in Cottage Grove - which is really only 15-20 minutes from here; but that’s in good traffic. During rush hour it would be an hour from here. It’s not that I don’t wish them to be able to better themselves and have a home of their own, it’s just that I don’t see Steph and Kirk much as it is, and it also means that Lexi will not be coming to Grandma’s house any more for Grandma to watch and this makes me so sad. I don’t know what I will do without having her with me three days a week.
She is the sunshine in my day.
Can you see why? She’s Grandmas little Bug!
click for bigger image
Posted at 9:46 am | Comment (0)
5th May, 2008
Published & Posted
The evening is almost quiet just before the sun goes down – there is an audible roar in the background; I’m not sure where it comes from – some place off in the distance – disturbing my quiet momentarily while I try to ascertain what its origin is. I soon give up and it fades further from my mind as I concentrate on the thoughts that have been piling up for almost a year inside my head.
Spring seems to have woken a reserve in me that I haven’t felt in a long time. I’ve been trying to figure out how to put what I am feeling into words; but it fails me. I can only say that I feel like I have been asleep for a very, very long time.
Memories come back to me, things I have forgotten, some that I wanted to forget, mostly those that I didn’t want to forget. Those that try as I might to recall, going as far as leaving myself little reminders of where I put this or that, only to forget what those little reminders were for, or even what I made the reminders for once I found them. Visions of items on a shelf come clearly now and I find that my brain crackles with the excitement of remembering, and trying to share these moments of joy to others is lost on explanation of what I have felt like for so long. Evidently I did a good job covering for myself; no one knew how strongly this sleep has had control of my mind for so long.
I try to figure out why my mind went so deep into hibernation. At first I thought it might be from the medication I had been on, but then I realized I hadn’t been taking anything stronger than Advil; I didn’t like the effects the others had on me, didn’t like depending on a drug to quiet the pain – I wanted the pain gone – permanently.
Then it hits me. It was the pain itself that caused my mind to go so far from me. I was so busy concentrating on how to get through each day with that horrible pain that there wasn’t anything left of me to give. Each day that has passed since the two surgeries has seemed like years long, but each day there has been progress, each day I gained my strength back a little bit more. Sometimes it has been taking two steps forward and 4 steps back. It’s the learning to know your limits and what you can handle, and on those days that I felt better then I felt in a very long, long time – I tended to overdo it and this set me back another 4 steps.
Frustration is my enemy now. I seem to have lost my ability to have patience with my own body. It betrays me so often now that I get frustrated and wonder why I can’t do the things I did years ago. I often wonder now what I will be like when I am in my 50’s, fearing that because of how my body reacts to exertion now I can only imagine how much worse it will be in those few short years. It doesn’t give me much hope for the future; especially the near future – the winter months. They seem to be especially hard on me, but, I take hope that with spring, the promise of warmer days to come, the sunshine and the warmth in the air and pray that my strength will return more and more each day so that when winter returns, I will be strong enough to get through it.
The past month has kept me preparing for a Boutique for the Knot & Bauble Shoppe – my Artisans and I have opened a temporary store in our 3 season’s porch. Last weekend was the first of three weekends – and then it will be time to rush to prepare for our attendance at another local craft fair.  The inventory is our biggest issue – making sure that those who have high selling items have enough products to sell at each event.
It’s our hope that by putting the Shoppe out in the forefront of the public, eventually we will become well known for quality, hand crafted treasures – which by the way has become our new slogan.  Each event I attend as the Shoppe owner, I seem to cultivate one or two new artisans to the Shoppe. I have two waiting to join now, and one more possibility – as this continues to grow; my thoughts turn more and more towards incorporating the business.
Even my own line of jewelry has evolved far from what it began to be. MKB changed to SaM’s Beads-n-Baubles, and is still evolving off the beaten path of typical “plated†jewelry that most people create and sell into authentic pearls, semi-precious gemstones, 14k gold and Sterling Silver. I have now been dabbling with creating my own style of Sterling Silver pendants, creating them from Sterling Silver clay and firing them in a kiln…there have been successes and failures in this venture, but with each firing of the kiln – I gain more and more skill and find the classes for metalsmithing fascinating as well as challenging.
I still watch my grandbaby Lexi; she is growing up so fast and changing more and more every day. I am fascinated seeing the world through her eyes…watching it change as her perspective of it changes. Her vocabulary is huge now and she has begun to potty train. The goal is to have her completely trained by fall so that she can start preschool. Grandma thinks she is too young for that yet, but then in my eyes, she still has to hold my hand down the few steps that lead to and from our backyard. They will always be my babies.
This leads me to my last thought before I close – I’m considering taking on a few children to sit once I get a little stronger. Lexi still wears me out, so that may be awhile yet, hopefully before the end of summer I can seriously look into this to help supplement our income, and hopefully by then Tom will have been successful at finding a job as well.
I had considered letting Illusive Life go dormant, but I think I will wait on that decision a little bit longer and see if I can rediscover my joy of writing again. Perhaps there is hope yet.
Now, as only my screen on my laptop illuminates my keyboard, I think it is time to hit publish and call this one posted.
Posted at 7:54 pm | Comment (0)